Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Unit 36 Coursework Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2500 words
Unit 36 - Coursework Example This made the recording of business transactions and activities an important factor. In recent years, accounting has undergone several transformations; among its purposes include having a permanent record of all of the businessââ¬â¢ transactions, keeping records of income and expenses, and keeping records of assets and liabilities for ascertaining financial position of the business. Another purpose is to keep control of the expenses while maximizing profits, keep records of customers and the amount they owe to the business, know suppliers and their owing to the business, and eventually to have information for legal and tax purposes in relation to the location of the business (Juan 3). In this paper the chosen organization is Apple Inc. Like every other MNCs, Apple also publish their Cash flow statement, Profit and Loss statement and balance sheet every year. It is not only helpful for the investor to analyse the performance of the company but at the same time experts also make the ir prediction based on these report regarding how the organization is going to perform in coming years. According to Collins Richards, all income received and all expenditure spend in a business should always be accounted for either in terms of capital or revenue (42). The difference between capital and revenue items of expenditure and income is the total amount of wealth found in a business that has subsequently been used to produce income. In the books of accounts, capital does not change ââ¬â it is maintained intact - separated from other forms of finance with a clear clarification showing losses and profits. Revenue items in the books of accounts on the other hand are either income or the expenditure showing the daily business transactions. Income is represented by profits while expenditure is represented by losses. As profits withdrawn from the income reduce the available capital, the losses
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Capital Punishment Why The South Is So Dirty Research Proposal
Capital Punishment Why The South Is So Dirty - Research Proposal Example Ironically, it has come at a time when the president of the country is an African-American who was thought to have been elected without the intervention of color, race or ethnic origin. This is somewhat manifest in two households in Orangeburg, South Carolina. The white Bolen family has antique wooden clocks on the wall. Coca-cola memorabilia decorate the house. They did not watch when President Obama delivered his health-care speech on television because they believe he is a liar. The congressman representing them is Joe Wilson, the Obama heckler. Some blocks away is the Elmore home where a portrait of civil rights movement activist Martin Luther King, Jr. is prominent. Obama campaign keepsakes are all around one of which says "Yes, We Did." The Elmore family is black; so is their representative in congress, James E. Clyburn, a top ranking Democrat who initiated the moves to punish Wilson for the heckling. Orangeburg appears to be booming and is attractive to investors. In one fundr aiser for a local technical school, people were talking about race. One state senator opined that Joe Wilson's inappropriate misdeed had nothing to do with race. This local legislator who made the comment about Wilson is a white but is supported by both black and white voters. (Tucker, Philip. In S.C., One Road Divides Two Ways of Thinking. September 22, 2009. The Washington Post. [internet]. With the above-cited circumstances, it is not easy to answer any question pertaining to whether or not there is a racist divide in the south or whether or not there is bias against the blacks in that part of the United States. This can be a more particular concern if the subject of analysis is capital punishment which involves the fate of human life. Capital punishment is not imposable in all the states of America. Even in those jurisdictions where there is a statutory provision for the death penalty, carrying it out is rare. A look at the number of executions will give a preliminary guide. Thirty seven convicts were executed in 2008 in nine states broken down according to location as follows - Texas 18 Virginia 4 Georgia 3 South Carolina 3 Florida 2 Mississippi 2 Ohio 2 Oklahoma 2 Kentucky 1 Of the aforementioned thirty seven, twenty (20) or fifty four per cent (54%) were white and seventeen (17) or forty six per cent (46%) were black. All of them were men. All of the nine states included above except for Ohio are situated in the south or in the nearest south. As of the end of the year 2006, there were 3,233 prisoners with pending death sentences in thirty five (35) states and the federal prison system while there were only 3,220 such prisoners as of the end of 2007. That is a reduction of thirteen (13) prisoners under sentence of death. The United States Supreme Court reinstated the death penalty in 1976. On record from that time until date, more than
Cognitive Therapy Case Conceptualization Essay Example for Free
Cognitive Therapy Case Conceptualization Essay Elena is an adolescent female, coming to the therapy process demonstrating through actions and words a great deal of anxiety and overall apathy for her situation. Elena is a smart, socially engaged Mexican American attending public high school. She opens the session with presenting problems regarding conflict over what she might do after high school. Preliminary conceptualization from a cognitive perspective Overall, there is an obvious feeling of disempowered regarding her right and or ability to make life decisions. She comes from a close-knit family, though some of her siblings have moved away to seek out goals beyond those that they may feel their parents are putting upon them. She has recently begun to disengage academically and socially as she feels the urgency of choosing to adhere to family tradition or to go out on her own, like her peers. Though she says she has not yet made a decision, know that cognition mediates affect and behavior (Friedburg 101). From this perspective a therapist might conclude that her recent apathy toward academics and isolating herself from her peers show that she indeed is letting the thoughts of ââ¬Å"I must listen to my parentsâ⬠drive her life perspective. It is promising from a cognitive standpoint, that she shows some jealousy toward her boyfriend and others: Perhaps the anger when discussing her family dynamics and recent history is most telling that Elena could benefit from Beckââ¬â¢s Socratic dialogue. The pluralistic views that come from her own identity within her biculturalism are strongly embedded, and the therapist demonstrated this by demonstrating lots of open questions. Letting Elena focus on herself as an individual rather than a Mexican-American could lead to meaningful exploration and collaborative cognitive change to help Elena feel more empowered. When counseling adolescents from a cognitive perspective the counselor must remember that under any circumstances this may be the first time that these clients might see their actions and behaviors, and question the beliefs that may have become embedded during childhood. Elena obviously needs a relatively short-term look into these feelings due to her grades slipping and applying for colleges, if she so chooses. Asking a client ââ¬Å"what is going through your mind right nowâ⬠(Murdock 337) is one of the base approaches to beginning to help the client recognize their individual thought patterns. This is a question that is difficult for many adults, and though adolescents in general can be more open to change, Elenaââ¬â¢s worldview as a bicultural young woman is overpowering any other automatic thoughts that she might have; it is culturally appropriate for a young Mexican American to disregard her own thoughts and needs for the good of the familyââ¬âwhich Elena does in fact voice (Rochlen 2009). As an observer to this case scenario, the challenge, due to age and culture, seems very difficult. The video demonstrates this strong schema Elena has developed that exudes this overwhelming disempowerment. I believe this schema of overall disempowerment is deeply embedded and will be difficult to challenge through cognitive therapy. Additionally, Mexican culture tends to see the counselor as ââ¬Å"expertâ⬠and the collaborative aspect of cognitive therapy may prove to be at the least uncomfortable for Elena, if not ineffective. Elena may continue to rely on othersââ¬â¢ to make decisions for her, to give her an unconditional guarantee (Corey 107), if this base belief cannot be penetrated due to adherence to cultural tradition, fear of change, or if Elena is unable to begin to identify these automatic thoughts. Possible cognitive strategies. In general, Latino Americans traditionally have strong family bonds and honor generational wisdom (Sue 377) Through the current political venue of the United States and popular culture, Mexican-Americans may fall prey to stereotypes and inherently feel a disconnect or poor self-image: American beliefs certainly account for this inner struggle Elena is feeling. Because this is pervasive and overarching in American culture where to begin with Elena in imperative. There is a lot behind these feelings, and as an adolescent who is struggling the counselor should take these omnipresent cultural truths into consideration. It is promising to me that Elena is already speaking about her siblings: I see this as an open door for initiating questions that challenge Elenaââ¬â¢s view of herself as a young Mexican American. I would certainly recognize Elenaââ¬â¢s frustration and give lots of positive regard as she speaks about her presenting problem. Cognitively, I would go back to Elenaââ¬â¢s conversation regarding the varying paths her siblings have chosen. I would respectfully move through this aspect of cognitive therapy so as to not threaten Elenaââ¬â¢s loyalty to her family. Since Beckââ¬â¢s model is based on a leading rather than a more confrontational approach, I would use this to my advantage to allow her to explore her emotions about her siblings and their life choices. I see this as an aspect of Elenaââ¬â¢s life experience that may allow Elena to begin to explore self-identity outside of the effects of biculturalism. Keeping the central focus of thought exploration on how she might challenge her beliefs about her life choices through reflecting on her siblingsââ¬â¢ life choices may be a safe way to allow Elena to begin connecting the deeper thoughts behind her ability to make life choices. From a cognitive perspective and the lens of cultural identity, my goal for Elena would be for her to begin understanding that many are facing overwhelming decisions within their own cultural context. At some point everyone must decide to respect family wishes or go out on her own. Elena would be challenged to explore the beliefs she holds regarding herself as a Mexican American; she could begin to see how the complex construct is not a means to an end. Helping Elena expose automatic thoughts and change subsequent behaviors could serve to identify the struggle she will face as a bicultural woman in America today. Obviously, this grander focus this approach toward the ââ¬Å"big pictureâ⬠provides empowerment, but is daunting. Collaboratively, it would be ideal to praise Elena for exploring her identity on a grander scale. At this point, I would encourage Elena to do some homework: Her recent social isolation undermines her support system and exploration of self-identity. Many of her friends to do not sound as if they are struggling as bicultural adolescents: Meeting with a Latino cultural group on her local college campus would be an ideal way to allow her to feel empowered as well as supported. I am sure that many others have faced this kind of multicultural dilemma in their formative years, and have come up with myriad life choices. Though I can help Elena begin to understand and possibly question her core beliefs that drive her behaviors, she will need safe and pertinent ways to explore them. Elena is a very intelligent young lady, and I do think from our observation that she inherently knows that as well. Finding places and people with whom she can identify will empower herââ¬ânot pressuring her into making a decision about her next step in life; with a goal toward hearing other stories of biculturalism in America and give her a comfortable place to explore her wishes for her own future and how she might find congruency between her choices and her heritage. I am certain that once her belief of what it means to be Mexican-American is challenged in some authentic way, she will begin to explore her automatic thoughts about cultural identity. My hope in working with Elena from a cognitive perspective is that she will begin to see her own identity and realize how her own thoughts had created a situation that most certainly is not the only possible scenario for her path in life. Relevant multicultural considerations From the perspective of a bilingual educator and a culturally aware individual, I was ultimately unable to separate Elenaââ¬â¢s biculturalism from the cognitive approaches and questioning that I would practice with Elena. Though this aspect of Elenaââ¬â¢s life situation appears hopeless to her now, I believe through finding authentic ways to identify with successful, independent Mexican-Americans she might begin to expose the prevailing automatic thoughts leading her to these isolating, dichotomous conclusions. The last relevant multicultural aspect that I have not addressed is it would be imperative that I find an opportunity to speak with Elenaââ¬â¢s family, and connect them with other families who are raising children in a bicultural environment. This is ideal because Latino families need opportunities to be involved in the community and support one another in myriad ways. non-productive cognitive approaches Note how at the beginning of this integrated discourse regarding Elenaââ¬â¢s pull toward family tradition and sense of loss for her dreams of going to college I was careful to note which door felt safe and respectful to collaboratively open with Elena. Siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles may ââ¬Å"stay out of family businessâ⬠such as the pressure from her mother, but it would be culturally insensitive for me to have Elena challenge her thoughts and risking her attaching them to family ties. That is already were Elena is, and traditionally Mexican-Americans see the counselor as ââ¬Å"expert,â⬠which could disengage long-standing family traditions and dynamics. I am convinced that approaching Elena through questions about herself, her friends, her academic life, and family would have made her feel that cognition is knowable and accessible, which is an underlying foundation of Beckââ¬â¢s theory. If a counselor were to solely base their approach, without multicultural considerations, on cognitive therapy with Elena as an individual it could serve to not allow herself to fully feel her human emotions, nor to bring awareness that change is central to the human process. I do not think asking Elena to explain how her beliefs construct her reality without first finding meaningful ways for her to relate to others outside of herself could she effect any change at all. Cognitive therapy, through the lens of multiculturalism, must always consider the bigger picture of what their life perspective really is: If challenged directly about her mother Elena may have only further solidified her commitment to fail at school to have a concrete reason to obey her parents.
Monday, October 14, 2019
Examining The Various Procurement Methods Available Construction Essay
Examining The Various Procurement Methods Available Construction Essay A review is being formed to clearly state and show the trends of construction procurement in the period 2008-2010. The review will mainly be based on industrial journals and other resources such as books, magazines and internet websites. Procurement describes the mixture of actions undertaken by clients to obtain a building. There are many types of methods in construction procurement however the common types of methods are traditional, design and build and management contracting. Procurement methods are vital in the construction industry which helps cutting costs of waste and its environmental impacts by clearly defining your requirements and how you expect your chain response. To profit fully from waste reduction and recovery on a project, enough practice must be adopted at the beginning stage by following the selected procurement process. Few major points would need to be communicated among the clients and contractors such as planned actions, metrics and targeted outcomes. After this is then passed down right through to the design team, subcontractors, waste management contractors and material suppliers. The nature of many project increases the risk which includes, finishing a project which does not meet needs, and also when its delivered late or costs more than the clients core business. This is where the procurement strategy should balance risks against project objectives at an early stage. Below is a list of points that can be affected: Cost (cost certainty) Time (Certainty of completion date) Quality (Performance) Importance on only one of the key points could have a negative result upon others. In this case when the correct procurement method is used considering the type of project the following will be achieved: Certainty of cost and time which is developed by a architect, however this a slow process also known as the traditional method or design bid build. Certainty of speed and cost, however this is mainly controlled by the contractor, method known as design and build. Relative speed for a design developed by the architect employed by the client, cost is uncertain until the end of the project, method known as management procurement systems. One of many common method of construction procurement which is well recognised in the industry is traditional method. The method consists of architects and the engineers acting as the project coordinators. His or her responsibility is to design the project, and propose the specifications and produce drawings, administrate the contracts, tender the work and manage the project from start to finish. There are direct contractual links connecting the architects client and the main contractor. Any subcontractors will have a direct contractual link with the main contractor. The design and build method has become popular over the years which consists of an entire package which is made up of, fixtures, fittings and equipment to create a refined and fully completed functional building. In some cases the design and build method may also include finding of a site, adapting and applying for all required statutory consents. The owner creates a list of things needed for a project, providing an overall insight of the projects purpose. Many design and build contractors shows ideas on how to complete these aims. The owner picks the ideas which are best and hires the right contractor who is suitable for the job. Usually it is not just a contractor but a number of them working collectively. Once a contractor has been hired, they start building the first phase of the project. As they build phase one they design phase two. This is in contrast to a design and bid build contract, where the project is completely designed by the owner. The third method, management procure ment systems works as the client performs and active role in the procurement system by entering into separate contracts with the designer, architect, engineer, the construction manager, and individual trade contractors. The client then takes on the contractual role, while the construction or project manager provides the active position of managing the separate trade contracts, and ensuring that they all work efficiently and successfully together. A management procurement system is often used to speed up the procurement processe and allows the client greater flexibility in design variation throughout the contract. The ability to appoint individual work contractors, separate contractual responsibility on each individual throughout the contract this overall provides a greater client control. Over the past ten to fifteen years much work has been done on attempting to define procurement paths and master man (1992) provides a good background to some of this work. As the traditional procurement method route came under closer scrutiny other procurement routes developed and as a result means for selection were considered. It is known that procurement methods play a key role in defining and shaping contractual and work relationships between parties involved in the construction process. Therefore a better understanding of those methods and criteria that practitioners use in their selection is a very vital step in outlining our understanding of the issue. A review of current practices in the UK shows different approaches to the procurement of building projects. A classification of these approaches is extremely complex because there are not clear and generally accepted definitions of what a particular procurement method is. The public sectors obsessive tick box approach towards letting new work threatens to drive long-established regional firms out of business. That is the stark warning from Neil Edwards, chief executive of contracts information specialist The Builders Conference, after research showed local firms with proven track-records are missing out on work across the country. Edwards said: The present method of procurement by public bodies is restricting recovery and growth in the construction market. The value of tenders bid in August leaped from à £1.8bn in 2008 to à £4.8bn this year, with education accounting for half the sum recorded by the Builders Conference. Previously, a roofing contractor could have happily tendered for à £200,000 contract to replace the roof of a local school. But now that would be in a big multi-million pound framework agreement. A proven experienced local firm wouldnt even make it on to the tender list now. Edwards said that today the whole process is prescribed by a checklist and scoring system, which procurement chiefs cannot use firms that have faultlessly worked for them for many years. He added: There was a time when procurement professionals were allowed the freedom to innovate and eek out the best way yo get a job done. My fear is that the sector has shifted so far in favour of the major players that, in future, SMEs and even à £20m-plus contractors will have no choice but to work as subcontractors. http://www.contractjournal.com/Articles/2009/09/18/71780/clients-tickbox-mentality-to bidding-threatens-future-of-local-firms.html Sustainability is becoming more and more common therefore in the low carbon construction report it was issued by the UK government that 40per cent of new builds are bought by the public sector. For that reason the government are trying their very best to introduce sustainability in the construction industry. It is alleged that putting procurement into place can help reduce the carbon which helps cut the greenhouse gas emission. It is suggested that using the correct method of procurement and contractual agreements can help cut down to zero carbon building as the same value as a normal building. Estimated to be in excess of à £40 billion a year, local government expenditure on goods, works and services clearly has significant economic, social and environmental impacts. Local authorities have long been at the forefront of sustainable development and have gained valuable experience of green procurement http://www.idea.gov.uk/idk/aio/1701515 The government are trying to prioritise the change in public sector procurement. New chief czar industry have quoted The adviser, who is set to be appointed in November, will be responsible for securing better value for money, as well as promoting innovation and sustainability. Rudi Klein, CEO of the Specialist Engineering Contractors Group, said the czar should focus on procurement change and not be a mediator between government and industry.à We want to move towards procuring construction using a more collaborative, team-working approach, he told SM. This will help reduce industry waste and promote sustainability. http://www.supplymanagement.com/news/2009/calls-for-czar-to-go-public/ Private Finance Initiative/Public Private Partnership (PFI/PPP) projects signifies different traditions of financing and procuring public sector facilities. The theory behind PPP/PFI is fairly straightforward, if key capital expenditure is not to be funded by direct taxation therefore PFI provides a way forward by enabling assets to be procured off-balance sheet instead of municipality or government body through investment by the private sector. The private and public partnership began in the UK and its being undertaken in many countries across the world, and its been used to offer a wide range of facilities, such as bridges, roads, tunnels, schools and hospitals. PPP/PFI creates a number of legal challenges to accomplish the quality of the assets constructed, to provide security for the investors contributing finance and to allocate responsibilities between participants. The Dudley Hospitals PFI project led to a à £34 million dispute between main contractor and mechanical and electrical sub-contractor inEmcor Drake HYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2005/lr_1_ca.aspxHYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2005/lr_1_ca.aspx Scull v Sir Robert McAlpineHYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2005/lr_1_ca.aspxà HYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2005/lr_1_ca.aspx[2005] 98 Con LR 1, and the case was argued in the Court of Appeal by a Keating Chambers team on the issue of theà scope of a letter of intent. Another leading reported case,à Midland Expressway Ltd v Carillion ConstructionHYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2006/CILL_2317_TCC.aspxà HYPERLINK http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/resources/reported_cases/2006/CILL_2317_TCC.aspx(No. 2) [2006] CILL 2317, was heard in the Technology and Construction Court and has created widespread interest and, indeed, concern, amongst those engaged in PFI projects.à The case concerned the construction of the tie-ins between the M6 and the new M6 toll road.à The Court held that provisions in a building contract that restricted a contractors right to interimà payments to a proportion of the employers entitlement (Equivalentà Project Relief) would beà unenforceable asà when pay-when-paid provisions contrary to the HGCRA 1996.à à Since such clauses have been widely used in PFI projects, the implications are considerable. http://www.keatingchambers.co.uk/expertise/contractual/pfi_contracts/default.aspx Sustainability is acknowledged by the government as a key section of good procurement, in 2008 major steps were followed by the OGC to improve their management and governance on the issue. Some departments are on course to be practising sustainable procurement across their business by the end of 2009, the governments target year. Progress has been made and there are initiatives which have reduced environmental impact and saved money. However, scope for improvement on various categories. Most departments are not routinely complying with minimum environmental standards, and have made limited progress in building environmental considerations consistently into procurement processes, engaging suppliers, and giving their staff appropriate skills andà £Ã¢â ¬Ã¢â ¬incentives. To accomplish value for money, procurement decisions need to be based on a thorough understanding of costs and benefits and environmental impacts. Departments are not routinely identifying and quantifying environmen tal impacts, and opportunities for reducing them. There are other concepts that still need attention like direct economic benefit to the authority from the development.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Uses of ICT and Computers in Britain :: ICT Essays
What is ICT? - A Brief Outline ICT stands for Information and Communication Technology, and is technology used to handle information and aid communication. ICT systems are often of much benefit to our everyday lives. We cannot go to the bank or supermarket without avoiding an ICT system in one form or another. Companies and organisations often implement ICT systems to help them go about their business, as well as their customer's or client's, more efficiently and increase their productivity. Barcodes are a classic example of an ICT system being implemented to make a business run more efficiently. Instead of having to price each item individually, shops and supermarkets had the price, and product details already printed on the packaging, meaning a lot of time and money was saved. What is ICT in education? Since the development of the first microprocessor in 1972, computers and technology have evolved rapidly. As we have become more dependent on this technology, we have felt it necessary to teach the masses about it. Hence, in the mid seventies, computer systems were gradually introduced to schools and other educational institutions. As systems developed, more and more students took an interest in the subject, as well as the realisation of these educational institutions that computers could aid teaching and learning in more than one way. Nowadays, in almost all schools, colleges and universities today, there are ICT systems in place that are used to aid education in one way or another. Many have networks, with access to the Internet students, which give students access to vast quantities of information, which is an immense study aid. However, so many different pieces of technology are used in schools, colleges and universities today, that it is hard to define what is used for education, and what is not. You could say that any piece of equipment that can be used by the students, to their benefit is ICT being used in education. Examples of this could be a network of computers in a school, allowing students to type essays, and do research on the Internet. ICT in education could even stretch to the use of a digital camera by an art student. It is anything that aids the student in its education, whether it is a word processor or a digital camera. Sources of Information Most of the information that I use will come from my sources of primary information, that is The Mill Hill School Foundation and Middlesex University. I will however, be using some secondary information. This is information that I will get from the Internet, books, news articles, television programs, etc. The two will be used in conjunction to from the report.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Why is Diotima a woman? Essay -- essays research papers
Diotima, Socrates' great teacher from the Symposium, a work by Plato was one of the most influential women thinkers of all time, whether she was a real person or a literary fictional character. She related to Socrates the theory of love that he described to the partygoers at Agathon's banquet, a celebration of Agathon's victory at the competition of Dionysis in Athens and of Eros. à à à à à Before we search for the idea of why Diotima is a woman, we should first discuss a little about her. We know that, if she were an actual person, she would have been born around 470 BCE and died around 410 BCE. She might have been a priestess from Mantinea. Now if she was a real priestess or poet is uncertain. There is archaeological evidence, plus the fact that no historians for hundreds of years ever challenged her existence, suggests Diotima was an historical person. Her authenticity was not disputed until the 15th century. à à à à à We should also discuss about how women were generally treated in the days of the Symposium. We read in the beginning of the Symposium that Eryximachus wants to get rid of the women so that the men may ââ¬Å"stick to conversationâ⬠. (Symposium 176.e3-177.a2) This invokes the idea that women are unable to have a meaningful conversation. This could be justified because ancient Greeks thought our (women) emotions get in the way. The ancient Greeks (men) had wives for the purpose of producing babies. They had boyfriends for the ...
Friday, October 11, 2019
Power of Love Essay
We all need love to be able to be connected to others. The more connected you are to a person the more that you are healthier and love is very essential for life, mind, heart, and it is oxygen to the brain. It is important to have love in life. We grow to love others because if comes from within and from our hearts. We need to love to survive to feel the need to belong to someone. Frequently people grow accustomed to each other when they have love in their lives. Frequently, people encounter situations in their environment in which it is impossible to not be with another person when they are in love and feel a bond between each other. It is therefore of great importance for oneââ¬â¢s attention and process to be connected to each other through love. I believe love is something that sweeps us off our feet that takes our breath away with that someone special and that special feeling that is shared between two people. It is something that we all need. Love to me is a flower, a word, a song a note something special between two people emotionally. Love is like the best medicine for anything. but many of our ideas about it are wrong. The less love you have, the more depressed you are likely to feel. (By Ellen McGrath, published on December 01, 2002 ââ¬â last reviewed on March 30, 2009) I have learned that when people are depressed it is because they donââ¬â¢t love themselves and therefore they canââ¬â¢t love anyone else. It is sad to think that so many of us in todayââ¬â¢s society are really very sadly depressed and that we feel we have to have someone in our life and that we miss interpret lonely it to love. I have done this before where I have been depressed and have had someone in my life and thought it was love and it was not. I guess when I didnââ¬â¢t love myself, I was not sure how to signal out the two or how to differentiate. Being depressed can attract you to someone, and it totally can be the wrong person for us. What attracts us to another person is there character, personality, Their smile their vulnerability and how they treat us and draw us close to them. We are less likely to befriend someone from another culture because it is more interesting due to other cultures backgrounds, accents. We choose others from other cultures than our own culture because it isnââ¬â¢t new anymore and it is of the same likes as our own. The attribution of attraction is they include. In our textbooks we read about Proximity and that is how our friends lived close to us as we grew up and how the friendships developed over the length of time. Friendship developed (Nahemow & Lawton, 1975). We all know that friendships grow after getting to know someone, and this closeness becomes very easy to win over and turn into a relationship. Just like when we go to school we have classes together and we sit among each other and of course that will develop into making more friends if not relationships and then start making closer bonds with friends. Then there is association where we tend to express our opinions about other people and share our insights with others. We also share similarities and we sometimes associate that with attractiveness and likeness which is something two people share that can result in bonding between two people that share the same qualities. (Neimeyer & Mitchell, 1988) Then we simply tend to like those who like us back or are similar to what we are like. It is a great sense of feeling when you know that you are interacting with someone that is a lot like yourself and that that person likes you back and that you both get a long that you donââ¬â¢t have to pretend to be someone else and that you both get along exceptionally well. We feel good when we are around somebody. We tend to report a higher level of attraction toward that person (Forgas, 1992; Zajonc & McIntosh, 1992) Physical attraction plays a role in who we care to be friends with. Even though that sometimes doesnââ¬â¢t mean that we may be attracted to that person or that we choose that person to be with it is just an attraction that happens between two people who have very similar likes. We canââ¬â¢t help who we are attracted to and who we end up with. It isnââ¬â¢t something we plan it is something that just happens. Opposites attract and that sometimes can bring two people phys ically closer in a relationship than a friendship. Sometimes attractive people attract other attractive people and sometimes attraction has nothing to do with looks what so ever. It is just a mutual or physical bonding that brings two people together. Sometimes a tall person may be attracted to a person who is a short person. A skinny person can be with a heavy person. Attraction isnââ¬â¢t about money, wealth, fame, or young, old or anything like that. It is a feeling that two people share no matter the circumstances and it is the way things are. The human need to build bonds in a relationship is because as human nature we just want to belong to someone. We have basic needs just as an infant needs their mother to carry them, hold them and nurture them so do we. As we get older we need someone to hold us and care for us and tell us that things are going to be okay. It provides stability, security, It totally assist in growth between two people. Just like anything in life we need the use of water, shelter and warmth and we need to be able to have some form of survival in our lives. We need that comfort and that love and that closeness that we feel only one person can give to us. That is what we need to be able to have that human bond in life. Yes we do have an innate to belong of course most definitely because we all want love and we all want to be loved and we all want to love back. We all fear being alone as we grow older and we all fear that everyone will leave us one day and it is a very scary feeling. Many people tend to h ave panic attacks just knowing that they will be alone and that is very depressing. From the very beginning of life In my opinion and in my own life ,I would have to say that loneliness is a very sad feeling and it is a feeling of emotion of being disconnected from society from family, from life in general. It is like when you feel the loss of a loved one that has been in your life for many years and they are no longer around you sense loneliness all around you feel like you have lost your best friend and you feel so isolated and you can be around friends and family all day long and you can feel good on the outside and yet still be dying on the inside with anxiety and panic worrying that you are alone that nobody cares. It is obvious that humans have an innate need to feel connected. We are social beings with many needs and a want and need to belong. Robert Sternbergââ¬â¢s theory he explained the differences of love and that they consisted of three different kind of loves: he des cribed intimacy as a need for emotional connection which is shared between two people who have desire for each other and share intimate feelings. Then he shared passion as he explained passion, he expressed it as a sexual attraction that was a motivational drive that was shared between two people who had such a desire for one another and passion he described as two people who had very deep attractiveness for each other. To me consummated love is between a husband and a wife in a committed union. and that is as Robert Sternberg said it is a thoughtful part of love; it involves first deciding one is ââ¬Å"in love,â⬠which, over time, develops into a lasting commitment to a relationship or person. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) Romantic love to me is a love that is where you hold hands and you get butterflies. Where intimacy is involved even it is it is not a committed relationship but it is shared between to physically drawn individuals. Romantic lovers look at each other through ââ¬Å"rose colored glassesâ⬠not seeing each otherââ¬â¢s flaws. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) Empty love to me is a love where two people are married and yet arenââ¬â¢t in love with one another anymore but they stay together because of security and emotional ties and years have been invested. They stay together for fear of being alone and they deal with each other because itââ¬â¢s out of respect. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) in todayââ¬â¢s society so many people can relate to this sort of love because so many people remain together for their children not realizing that staying together is making the children miserable and that eventually they will grow up and leave the nest making their own lives elsewhere. I think this is such a sad love. Infatuation is a relationship based on passion, with no intimacy or commitment. Infatuation is characterized by passionate attraction on sight, and an example of such would be a one night stand. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) Why do so many people want to stay together and ruin their lives in an empty love relationship? Th ey donââ¬â¢t realize that by being honest with themselves they could start a new with someone else and be totally happy. Today so many men have affairs in an empty love relationship even if they are secure, have fear and stay together because of finances and obligations. Why canââ¬â¢t we all just be happy and be with the one person that makes us the happiest. I know this feeling all too well and I chose to walk away from an empty love. Free to be happy, Free to independent, free to be free and not with someone out of obligation. It is sad to be with someone who you donââ¬â¢t desire or love anymore. It is not right to make someone stay with you just because you have been together for so long. I longed to be desired and loved and wanted and needed with someone who truly loved me and was willing to make a commitment and give themselves to me entirely. I chose to be with someone who I am in love with and who has my heart. Not someone I feel an obligation or duty to at all. That is like saying, If I wanted a maid, I would have married a maid.ââ¬Å" But I married a partner, A best friend, my soul mate my companion and my everything. That to me is a genuine love and so many people donââ¬â¢t know what they are looking for in life and itââ¬â¢s the saddest thing if you ask me. References: Referred By Ellen McGrath, published on December 01, 2002 ââ¬â last reviewed on March 30, 2009 http://beta.in-mind.org http://panicdisorder.about http://voices.yahoo.com/sternbergs-theory-love
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